new life begins...

after so many years,
i couldn't escape of this anymore,
work, is a must for everyone of us,
we cant get rid of this,
this gonna be a part of our life...


i m kind of blur, i dunno which and what to choose,
right or wrong, and everything ..
though there is nothing to be afraid,
learn from mistakes, we all do
dun be afraid of making any mistakes..
i told myself this every time...

I've been hunting for jobs for weeks,
job hunting is a job too, and it is not an easy one,
i went few interviews,
at first i felt it interesting,
but now, its too bored for me to attend an interview session..
been repeating the same thing over and over again..


to learn , to explore, to enjoy
this is what life want us to be...

what's in me?

i was in a bad situation,
both mentally and physically,
as i said, i m not myself anymore,
i meant it,
i cant speak up what i want, what i needed,
i m trying to hide all my feelings inside,
i admit that i m kind of greedy and selfish person,
but then i m also kind of softhearted person,
when i said yes, its actually means no,
why are NO so hard to say?
just because i care, i cares about people's feeling,
i dont want anyone get hurts,
i have thousand things in my mind,
but things came out in opposite way from my mouth,
and this almost break me into two person,
i cant be myself, it isn't me, and i dont know which one is me?
i m very confused, i need someone to consult me,
i hope to stop all this shit, but then i cant..
i wan to be frank, but i choose to tell lies, because i dun wan people get hurts,
i lie myself, i lies to you, and everyone
i need a break, i m seriously tired with all of these....

do you know that?
i wanted for so much..
its more than you can imagine...

healthy"s light turned red!

having an serious infection that caused me did not sleep well for few days.. it was fucking painful, almost cried every night..
I m damn worried about my health actually, I din tell anyone of my family, that how am I suffering for this , I dont wanna let them worry about me!

few day ago I went to clinic, doctor told me it's an infection and asked me to drink plenty of water. and I did it everyday , I drank almost 10 liters of water each day, but it doesn't turn well..and I started worried！I think I better go for body check up before it is too late... god bless me..

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