我虽不是完美，
但相信是独特的
你若不珍惜，
我不会留恋，
但愿你马上离开我，
别来破坏我原来完美的生活!

累

觉得自己活的好累好累
一直以来我对我自己的有一定的要求
学业，事业，前途，未来
可是都好像力不从心，想要的偏得不到，
或许是我不够努力
很累，
父母的期望，我的好胜，我有压力，
觉得自己好像很失败，
毕业也都一年了，也没有什么成就。。

我好担心未来，
总觉得现在好像连自己想要得东西都没办法买了，
日子很难过，到底为什么。

家人朋友都觉得我可以更好，可以更好，
我真的可以吗？我有本事吗？
我怀疑自己的能力
当然，我也希望自己能活得更好

感情，不想提及，也不堪一提
总是觉得是错的，
大家也觉得是错的，
就连自己也觉得是错的，挣扎，伤心，流泪，
但我也坚持，是想要证明些什么吗？
说实在的，感情，我已失去信心。。。
 
我好想一切从头开始，
好像放弃自己现在拥有的一切，

真的好像，转身离开。。。。。。。。。

绝望=新希望

曾几何时， 我的部落格开始只记录了不开心的事，
 怎么开心的事越来越少了，
 情绪好不稳定

曾经以为，
 只要是真心付出， 真心对待，
得到的也会是真心的
 相反，
你越是真心得到的越是伤心，
 一次一次的原谅，一次又一次的找借口安抚自己，一次一次的眼泪，
 为了你，早已忘了什么是底线，
 但还是换来一次又一次的背叛
该得到这种结果吗？
好不公平，好不甘心

傻女孩， 该醒了，
告诉自己眼泪应该流的值得，
 为值得的人和事而流，
要知道爱你的人，不忍心让你流泪，
 让你流泪的人，根本不值得你爱，
 别傻了，
别再为了这贱人流泪，
爱情不等于全部，
别为了他而活，要为自己而活，
泪流干了就要面对。
该感谢，因为他，而让你一次比一次坚强！

 绝望就是新希望得到来！

Self-Examination

Still remember all the day they we went through..
Still remember all the thing we did together..
Still appreciate the loves u have given to me..
but i never forget how the tears flows down on my face..

You would never know what i'm thinking...
You might thought i'm doing something silly or maybe childish..
You might think it is doesnt a matter, but for me, it is..
You might angry because of my headiness and immaturity..
but i'm more angry myself because of my stupidity..

I do have my own principles..so do you..
I likes to be secretive and you knew it..
I used to hiden all my feelings..and hope you wont unmask it..
if you've got successfully unmasked it, its offending and you are actually entering my privacy..
so if you knew it, please jus keep it..and act like dont know everything..

Yes, everything happened must have a reason..
if i am the reason, then you would never have the chance to know it..
So please stop asking..
though its unfair to you, but nothing is fair in reality..

I still remember someone hav told me that i will be facing a lunacy problem in the future..
I was laughing badly when i heard it..i thought its kind of stupid and unreal..
but day by day passes,
I started to believes in it...
because i loves to keep all the things in my mind..
I will get crazy once its filled..

--

SummeR BreaK

all of you must be wondering why i could have such a long semester break, its last for 4 months time, oh my gosh, most of my friends are seriously envy me, but if you were me, you would know that 4 months time is not easy to pass and not really enjoyable! its terribly boring and meaningless, everyday stay at home and do nothing besides eating and sleeping. body size getting larger and larger, face become rounded and rounded..just because of this summer break.. dont really know what is this break for...

well, i've tried to seek for some office work, and i got a lot of offer too, but i rejected all of those, due to salary too low, long hours, location is not covienent enough and etc, but i think the main reason is because i'm averse to work! lazy piglet i m! broke broke broke, because of didnt work, no income but still keep on spending, now left one month more..i gained nothing during this holidays except tons of fat..argh! ** i'm still enjoying eating chocolates at this very moment**

one month more, guys, help me to think how to spend this one month time..maybe i should go for some coursE? like dancing? baking? or sleeping?? wakakka~

a speech from heart

sometimes, its really hard for people to express out their feelings, for me, i would rather hide all my feelings..i guess most of u guys too..

i was kinda emo recently, i was wondering why i got so much to think, when i was a child, i had nothing, i enjoyed every little single thing, i wanted to stick with my parents all the time, i hugged them while i asleep, i needed their warm when i cant fall asleep, i remembered each time i was waken from a nightmare, i knocked my parent's room, cried infront of them n sleep with them. they will always lended their hand to me while i needed help!

but now, i m an adult! i need to face every problem by my own,i'm trying to settle every problem by my own and a single thing could not completely satisfy me. parents are getting older, and we are hanging out with frens more often, dont wan to stay home? coz we started feel they are nagging for too much! we wants our partner's warm more than our parents. still remember when is the last time u hug ur parents? did u scold them when they were walking too slow? or left them behind? but they never leave u behind when u were a child, they even patiently teach u to how to walk...

u might laughing at me, coz i wrote this kind of shit, wht i wanted to say, is that no matter how tough u think ur life is, there is always a life jacket for u, that is ur parents, no matter how suffer u r working at outside, or living alone.. ur home will still ur warmed-place..

thinking how much patience your parents had paid on u, thn u shud pay how much patience on those thing that u feel yourself have been offended! i was trying hard to control my emotion, even now, something really makes me feel unhappy, but i think it is alright, i dun wan to make thing worse, if things can not be avoided, then i will choose to avoid that thing...
jus to be patient always~

i live for myself, but not others, someday u might get influence by others, but one thing u hv to bear in mind that if u think tht is the right thing , thn jus go for it! whtever others say, its they kind of business! bcoz its ur life! what life u r pursue for and u will deserve it!

Ipoh + Cameron Highland 1 day trip @ 15th of May

all of us woke up in the early morning, Aaron and Chlovy woke up early for preparing, and i woke up early for handing in my assignment, was rushing to print it out and go campus...
Aaron sent me to my campus, and i jus throw it into the box, and quickly left the campus, because we were heading to our ipoh for our lunch~

in the meanwhile we heading to ipoh, me and Chlovy was non stop taking photos, i knew our poor little driver was keen to snap photos too, but too bad, he has to keep an eye on the road... haha~and chlovy has sacrificed her 1st time for making up in a running car..gv a big claps to her~~

suddenly, we all decided to change our destination from ipoh to cameron highland, because we feel like to give our fren a surprise, she is staying at cameron highland,coz its been a very long time since last time we met her, i guess few years ago, was misses her badly! althought we were heading to cameron highland after that, but we took the wrong way, and surprisingly, we reached the city of Ipoh=.=''.. so we decided go the city town for lunch 1st.
Ipoh famous with their chicken sprout and drive-true soya, is a must to eat it, if not, u will considered as never been to Ipoh before! after finished our lunch, again, heading to our final destination, cameron!

while on the way to cameron highland, me and chlovy already bored with snapping photo, we choosen to take nap instead, ahha~ again our poor little driver, no one talk to him, he was driving without our voice..XD..

Cameron Highland! we took almost 1 hour or above to get there from Ipoh city. nice weather, not as cool as genting, but its kindda relaxing..there is lots of farm for us to visit, but we were just too lazy to get down from the car, so din visit much! just went to the tea Farm, took few photos, and left! after that we went to pasar for buyin sayur-sayuran, wakaka, of coz we hv to buy jagung, sweet jagung selling in cameron, bought some for my mom~hehe...and tomatos!

after shopping at pasar, we went further in to find our fren, Irene! she was working at cameron Golf club! have a amazing view there, helps in relaxing~ while waiting her to finish her work, we order drinks there, and of course, snap photos again! we saw a very nice resort with sparking lights,very nice, and we stopped the car there, and wht else?! snap photos again!=.=''

after snapping photo, we sent Irene back to her place, we were chatting in the car more than 1 hour, because our little Chlovy started a topic which is superb interesting~ haha! and Irene able to explained in detailm the way she talked is super straight forward and funny! wakaka~ But thanks to her so much, coz we've learned a lot of ''thing'' and so called ''skill'' from her! we left after the chit-chat, took another 2 to 3 hours to reached home, tiring but its a memorable trip! its really nice to meeting up a old fren, we shall always keep in touch~ love ya

Yiruma

Yiruma, he is a piano player, and i belives that he is the god of piano,
he composes songs by his own, without lyrics, but the song is even more touching....

just a video posted by my fren, i share it to everyone i known in facebook, because i love the song so much, its ''kiss the rain'' from Yiruma, this remind me of something n of coz someone, i strongly recommend this song ''kiss the rain'' and also '' river flows in you''. few years ago, a person been recommend me listen to this two songs, and i jus fall in love with it after listen to them! these song is just simply awesome, i believes it can just touches the deepest of ur heart and recall something which happened in ur life, u can feel the sadness of the song, even its without lyric, but still manage to earns ur tears....


honestly, i knew not much about music, and maybe can say i not even know about music, i got grade 1 certificate in playing piano, i got it when i was standard 2 or 3.. from Yiruma's song, i can feel whts the song wanna express about, i likes all Yiruma music, eveytime i listen to his music, i can feel it....his music is truely touches my heart, and makes me emotional!

and now, i'm listening to his music, it makes me cried T.T i wants to share this to everyone, Yiruma, the best piano player, and so talented! u guys should listen to his music, his music is really beautiful and amazing, so seductive and addictive, u will love him once u listen to the music! trust me!

i uplaoded some of his songs to my music player, enjoy it

TaKe iT EasY

sometimes u will over worried for somthing that u think it might happen
but sometimes that thing would jus happen in a different way..
frankly speak, few weeks ago, i argued with one of my close fren,its not to say an argument, erm, misunderstanding? prehaps.~

it happened is because of my irreponsible, i didnt promise my words, instead, i broke wht i had promised to her. a part of my irresponsibility, i broke my promise in purpose also, because i think its time for me to stand on my side n revenge! i wanna to retort, becuase i felt my kindness to u sometimes become my weakness, i started dunno how to protect myself, and jus admit those fault that were not my fault! i felt tired, so this time i decided to stand for myself even this time i really did something wrong! i dint pick up calls, started to build a distance between u and me! but i guess i was wrong, i shouldn't do that, because you choosen to forgive me at the end, it make me felt even more guilty~

for my opinion, i think that always be kind to frens is a very good way to maintain our frenship. i cherish every frens, because the god made us and we got to met each other. why my fren is you? why not Lady GaGa? there must be a reason! maybe u hv the thing that i have not, i might hv the thing tht u didnt hv! THING is not just refer to those tangible one, it included those intangible also! knowledge? emotion? personality? maybe god made us to learn from each other!

every person will have different opinion towards a matter, u might overthought it but they might not even care of it, y dun jus take it easy? ^.^